


nothing makes me stronger (than your fragile heart)

by lettersfromnowhere



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: F/M, How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World Spoilers, I'm not quite sure how to tag this tbh, Introspection, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 05:04:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17892020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lettersfromnowhere/pseuds/lettersfromnowhere
Summary: “It wasn’t that, though, that got me thinking. Losing so much made me realize how precious what I still had was,” Astrid admitted, her cheeks reddening.“Astrid, saying something romantic? Unprecedented,” Hiccup replied, grinning in earnest for the first time in days. “How often does that happen? What, once a year?”“Hiccup.” She shook her head. “Stop changing the subject.”(A "Hidden World" missing scene, because the film neglected to tell us how and why Astrid changed her mind about marriage.)





	nothing makes me stronger (than your fragile heart)

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHH. 
> 
> I saw "The Hidden World" today and, since HTTYD was my childhood, this caused me A Great Deal of Emotional Distress. Leave it to that movie to break a seven-year lurking streak in this fandom, huh? This is probably not fantastic, but I had to write SOMETHING after the emotional mess that was that movie. So...here we go. 
> 
> This seeks to fill in the gap between Astrid's repeated assertions in the beginning of the movie that she isn't ready to get married and the, y'know...wedding. They never told us how we got there, so this is fair game, right? I hope?

“What do you do without the thing that’s always defined you?” 

 

Hiccup didn’t need to look to notice Astrid’s approach. Sitting at the cliff’s edge, he tried in vain not to allow the tears welling up in his eyes spill over at the thought that he’d never again be able to retreat to a distant seastack to ponder questions like this one. Astrid silently knelt beside him, staring off into the distance after a precursory glance at Hiccup. 

 

Astrid’s unflinching gaze at the horizon didn’t waver even as, inside, she flinched at the sheer _rawness_ of Hiccup’s question. She’d tried to explain this to him – that, not Toothless, but his ingenuity and compassion and humility and stubbornness and a hundred other things made him who he was. But in spite of her best efforts (which, she admitted, were at times anemic and halfhearted– she’d felt the loss of their dragons almost as keenly as he had), Hiccup couldn’t see himself as anything but half of a pair that would never again be whole. He’d let go, but he was far from moving on. So she no longer bothered to attempt the tired “here are the many non-dragon qualities and entities which define Hiccup Haddock” pep talk.

 

 “You…find something just as worthwhile, and you make that your new purpose,” she told him, leaning into his side. Sighing, he opened his arms to let her relax against his shoulder, cradled against the wind. “I’m not suggesting that you replace him. You know I wouldn’t. But in time, if you have something worth living for, you’ll start to feel…okay again.”

 

 “It isn’t as if I haven’t tried that,” Hiccup replied. “I can’t say I’m exactly bored around here. There’s almost _too_ many distractions. I have a thousand things I should be doing right now, but some days I don’t have the heart to do what I _should_ be doing when…” he trailed off.

 

“When nothing is the same,” Astrid finished.  

 

“Exactly.”

 

“I get that. It’s been hard on all of us. But…we haven’t lost everything, you know?” she offered.

 

“I know that, but no matter what else I have, whatever wonderful thing might happen to all of us, I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling like part of me is gone.” Hiccup swung his legs absentmindedly over the cliff’s edge.

 

Not seeing any reason to lead him down a conversational path that would only result in further moroseness, Astrid changed tactics. “Is this really just about the dragons?”

 

“I think it is,” Hiccup said, “but right now I’m too drained to know my own mind anymore.”

 

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt if some of the things weighing on you are things we _can_ fix. Are you having problems with anyone?”

           

“No, not at all. We’re all doing the best we can, and that’s all I can ask.”

 

“Then, uh.” Astrid stared at the ground, uncharacteristically timid. “Is it possible that…maybe… _I’m_ part of the problem?”

 

Hiccup’s head snapped up, almost frantically, to meet her eyes. “No. _Absolutely_ not. Do you really think that? Have I done anything to make you think that you might be? I’m so sorry-“

 

“Hiccup, of course you haven’t,” Astrid sighed. “But I notice more than you think I do.”

 

“W-what do you mean?” Hiccup stammered, still speaking so quickly that his words were nearly incomprehensible.

 

“Sometimes, when someone would bring up…us getting married, I’d notice that you’d freeze up,” Astrid admitted. “And you always seemed so disappointed when I said I wasn’t ready.”

 

“Marriage has to be a mutual decision, Astrid!” Hiccup protested. “If you’re not ready, then _we’re_ not ready. I’ve never had a problem with-“

 

“You’re a terrible liar, Hiccup.” Astrid smiled bitterly at the nothingness ahead of her. “I know how badly you wanted to start a life with me.”

 

“Why the past tense?” Hiccup asked.

 

“Well, you don’t seem to be interested in much anymore,” Astrid said, trying to shrug it off casually even as she winced at her own words.

 

“No, no, _no,_ Astrid, that’s not what I meant at all,” Hiccup insisted, rushed and panicky. “I thought you knew that I love you no matter what. Maybe something like this takes my mind off of you...temporarily, for the time being...but…”

           

“I think we’ve all had too much time to think lately,” Astrid remarked, seemingly irrelevantly. “I’m bringing this up because I’ve done a lot of thinking about…us.”

 

“You have?” Hiccup’s eyes brightened.

 

“Yeah.” Astrid kicked at the cliff’s edge with the toe of her boot. “I don’t think I’ve always appreciated you as much as I should have.”

 

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” Hiccup insisted. “There’s no reason to say-“

 

“I know myself, Hiccup, and I know I’ve taken you for granted when you needed me most. It was actually your mother who brought it to my attention, you know.”

 

“Oh?” Hiccup shifted, instinctively tightening his arms around her.

 

“She said you’d listen to me. I never really thought about it that way before.”

 

“Well, I do,” Hiccup confirmed, “even if it doesn’t always look like it.”

 

“It wasn’t that, though, that got me thinking. Losing so much made me realize how precious what I still had was,” Astrid admitted, her cheeks reddening.

 

“Astrid, saying something romantic? Unprecedented,” Hiccup replied, smiling in earnest for the first time in weeks. “How often does that happen? What, once a year?”

 

“Hiccup.” She shook her head. “Stop changing the subject.”

 

“If anything, it’s me who’s been underselling you,” Hiccup deflected. “I’m so caught up in my grief at losing the dragons-“

 

“No. Stop.” Astrid fixed him with her steeliest glare. “Stop pretending things are fine when they aren’t. I get it now – you weren’t upset that I wasn’t ready. You were afraid I was drifting away, weren’t you?”

 

“Maybe,” Hiccup admitted. “There…may or may not have been several people suggesting that you were discontented with our relationship.”

 

“Discontented?” Astrid snorted, refusing to care how undignified she looked. “Hiccup, if anything, I was _too_ contented with the way things were.”

 

“I will admit that that’s a relief.”

 

“I was afraid of change,” Astrid elaborated. “But we’ve been through more change this past week than I even could've imagined before, and all of it was several times more traumatizing than being married to you.”

 

“Gee, thanks,” Hiccup deadpanned.

 

“You know I didn’t mean it like that,” Astrid sighed, exasperated. “I meant…going through that kind of change makes _this_ kind of change look a lot less scary.”

 

“And what does that mean?” Hiccup asked, daring to hope for the first time in days.

 

“I think I’m ready.”

 

His breath caught audibly in his throat and he turned to face Astrid. “Do you really-“

 

“Yes, Hiccup,” Astrid replied, taking his hands. “I mean it.”

 

His entire face changed instantaneously, lighting up with almost childlike wonder. “You mean it? You’ll marry me?”

 

Astrid nodded, a bit uncertain but soon finding her strength of will again. “Of _course_ I mean it. I-“

 

She didn’t have time to finish before he caught her up in his arms and kissed her as if it was the last time he ever would.

 

“I wasn’t finished, you know,” Astrid panted as soon as they parted for air.

 

“Oh, sorry.” Hiccup backed away apologetically. “Couldn't resist." He scratched at the back of his neck sheepishly. "What were you going to say?”

 

“Oh, nothing,” Astrid replied teasingly. “I think it’s been explained enough.”

 

They lapsed into silence, and as Hiccup stared out into the distance, it no longer seemed so empty. He thought he’d seen his hope and purpose fly off days ago with his beloved dragons.  But they hadn’t. What remained of both leaned against his shoulder, and his heart was _light_  the way he never thought it would be again as he looked out across the horizon. 

 

What was gone was gone, and he'd have to accept that evetually; but what was  _here_ was here to stay. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is cheesy, but don't we all need that right now? 
> 
> Weirdly, seeing as I've been in this fandom for _seven freakin' years_ , characterization here was kind of tough. I was never sure if I was getting their voices quite right, so I hope it worked out.


End file.
